When do you call your self an alcoholic?

I'll tell you something about my life.

My first experience with alcohol probably was when I was still in a stage of embryo. My father loved to drink. Probably my mother, too. She never tells me, wether she was partying a lot when she was young.

My second experience was pretty late, actually. It was when I was sixteen. I drunk one beer and got really high. I had hangover next day as well. Since that time I started to drink more often. Then at the age of 21 I quitted for about 2 and a half year, because I became a christian. Of course I quitted being christian as well, cause I wanted to fuck with girls without any guilt and fear from burning in the hell. So I started to drink again. And I really enjoy that. The only thing that I don't like about drinking is, that after every hard core drinking night I can feel that my memory is getting worse. Also I don't like big hangover, cause it makes me feel like junky.

But what do I like about drinking?

First of all, when I drink, I feel kind of happy. I can introduce with other people very easy and usually they like me very much. I can make some young girl believe that I am the coolest guy on the planet. I can make everyone dance and laugh even if it looks like party is over. I can even make some aggressive way looking russian guy believe that we will be friends for ever. Usually I become brave as well. Sometimes I become life wise and I tell everyone the biggest secrets of the Universe. Sometimes I act like really depressed philosopher and I start some heavy talk with the guy who's standing next to me at the bar. Yeah, this is the hardest one, cause sometimes this guy is capable to figure out that I'm not very good at philosophy. Then I usually have very bad feeling afterwards and next day I always have terrible hangover.

Oh, yeah! In picture it's not me. It is just some handsome guy in a night club.

Followers with flowers

As I told you, I will try to be honest. So, what am I really worried about now is how will others know about my blog. Where can they find me? You know, I'm newbie to blogging. So, I wonder.

Now you probably see the truth. I'm really small. I have very small needs. I just need followers. Thats what I'm really worried about.

Jesus also needed followers. Without followers he would never become the savior. And without followers he would never be so inspired that he would tell his speech on the hill. How many times have you read this speech? I've been reading this about three times. And to be really honest with you, I doubt wether it has played a particular role in my life.

But I still love Jesus. Why not to love him? I think he's really worth to be loved. Even if I don't know what he really was like, I feel I can still go on with loving my own, personal Jesus. Nobody cares anyway.

Should it be special?

My first post.

Ah! By the way english is not my first language. Nor second. So, those who expect literally correct text - see you soon!

Here we go. Life is a miracle, they say. One friend of mine asked: Who told that all the miracles are nice? I like him. He is so ironic about every thing. He could fall asleep even sitting next while I was practicing guitar with metronome. He married a woman which is not pretty. Respect. Thats that I call a true what ever attitude to the life.

I'm no better. The girl, which I hate, is my love. She's siting two meters from me and my laptop at the moment and she has no idea what am I doing right now. After I'll post this we'll go to McDonalds to eat something. We are lazy to cook because of our dishonest relations. We lie to each other that we love each other. Thats life.

Oh no, she's close, she's asking, whether we go or what?

So we went and now we're back. Of course I had to close my laptop very fast and in a manner which doesn't look suspicious. I did well.

To some of you probably this sound kind of sign of weakness that I complain about my love, but even those who feel like the best man in relation are still telling lies to them selfs. I'm sure of that. Man has to lie always. Especially to them selfs. 

So, what am I doing here? I will try to be very honest with me and you and everyone else.